Tuesday, August 17, 2010
life is happening. and i don't have anything in boxes. i begin to move in one day. don't ask me why i have nothing packed. i couldn't tell ya. however, i do believe i could tell ya that one of the reasons i haven't boxed anything up yet it because somehow, i have myself convinced that if i don't do it, it's not happening. if i don't pack, i'm not leaving. sure, i'm stoked to begin a new chapter in my life up at the university. but do i have to do it away from my family? and my friends? and my dogs? because i'm the favorite, and my puppies need me. it's only 20 minutes away. but that's just not good enough. as for some of my closest friends? they're sailing a bit further. at least 2 hours further. i can't help but feel like a heartless bitch due to the fact that i haven't cried yet. i just don't think the reality has quite hit me. maybe that's why i haven't started packing. everyone around me is cramming in as many lunch dates and play times as humanly possible, and i sit with an open schedule. people are teary over goodbyes and good lucks, and at the end of each day, i never say goodbye. i never say good luck. not yet anyway. why should i? it's not happening. right? don't get me wrong, i would like to be slapped in the face by the cold, but oddly welcoming hand of 'here and now'. but it's just not happening for me. i'm not crying. i'm not packing. i suppose soon enough i'll have to start. the burning question lingers. will reality finally be accepted? stay tuned to find out.