belated christmas post.

since i am stuck indoors, due to the fact that there is a raging blizzard outside, i decided now would be a great time to catch up with my holiday blogggg.
sorry i'm a few days behind..

christmas.
there is so much i could say about this amazing holiday.
i love it. absolutely looove it.
it's such a beautiful day.
the day where we gather and celebrate with our families-
all eyes bright with enthusiasm and surprise.
the day that we rejoice at the birth of our Savior.
the day that we give, and share our love and compassion for one another.
such a beautiful day:)
this year, christmas seemed to sneak up on me more than usual.
it seemed that because of finals, and otherrrr distractions,
christmas was at the bottom of my list.
i hardly even remembered it existed.
the one thing i was looking forward to towards the end of the semester-
winter break.
christmas was far from my mind.
although i wasn't feeling much of the usual christmas tradition,
on the 24th of december, i arrived at the 11:00 christmas eve service with my friends and family. 
as i walked into the sanctuary, i was handed a small candle- a part of the christmas tradition.
sitting quietly in the pew, pieces of christmas began to puzzle themselves back together right in front of me.
we began to sing Silent Night, as our candles were lit and raised into the air, one by one.
i glanced around the sanctuary and saw a million tiny flames held high-
rejoicing. celebrating.
such a beautiful holiday.
after a few short hours, christmas morning came.
surprisingly, this was the first year my brother and i weren't up at 6 a.m. begging our parents to jump out of bed and run downstairs.
we took our time, and i slept til about 11:00 or so:)
we opened our presents, and enjoyed each other's company for the day.
i got a lot of great gifts, but a few that stood out were a new iPod nano, a Garmin (GPS), and pepper spray:)
i'm especially excited about the pepper spray.
santa did good this year.

happy birthday baby Jesus.

p.s. fun fact- apparently, Jesus was born sometime in the spring or something, we just celebrate in in the winter. i feel a bit upset that nobody told me this sooner. for all i know, everything i think i know could only be semi-true. way cool.
;)

oh enrique.

so do me a solid.
you hear that amazing music currently streaming through your speakers, which you are accessing through my blog?

BLAST IT.

or better yet, download it yourself, (illegally or not, it's really none of my business) and then somehow stick it on your ipod, or burn it on a CD.
then jump inside the nearest vehicle, and

BLAST IT.

i took the liberty of choosing the clean version since i know the majority of my followers don't want to hear about enrique 'f''-ing them (although i can honestly say that i, personally, feel very differently).

you can thank me later for this musical genius.

december baby.

 oh 2010. where did you go.
december is here. it's taken me a bit to realize what that means.
the end of the my first college semester.
i'm in the midst of finals week.
this is so bizarre..
it's been so amazing, and so unforgettable.
i have already gotten so much more out of this experience than i could have ever imagined.
however, as much as i would love it to be, the end of the semester can't be completely positive. 
it doesn't seem fair that a select few i have grown very close to are leaving after this amazing, unforgettable semester.
you know who you are.
i'm going to miss you both so, so much.
luckily, the month-long winter break will come in handy over the period of heartbreak-healing.
i'm excited to spend time with my family, and my old friends.
i think i need it. a lot.
on a side note, i've been listening to a lot of nickel creek lately.
the only thing keeping me sane. but i'm not even kidding.
i think it helps with the coping, and calming throughout this mess of finals, and stress, and the like.
oh december.
dedications:
to kenz- ohh sweetie. i love you:)
to the Dane- thank you for eeeeverything:)

thanks.

so here i sit at the airport with wayy to much time on my hands, and a computer battery that's draining a bit more minute by minute.
in the spirit of giving thanks due to this past weekend's festivities, i would like to share a bit of what i am thankful for (more or less).
- my family: although we can be at each others throats about 75% of the day, the remaining 25% are what make me remember how thankful i am for this crazy, little bunch of people. sometimes it's just the tiniest things that remind me why i love spending time with my family.
like traveling first class (for the first time ever) in a seat next to my mom while she sips on rum and coke and i make silly alcoholic jokes to her. or meowing to every song that comes on the radio and horrifically singing along to christmas classics while marshall tells me he's gonna hit me if i don't shut up, and dad says i'm funny.
like cheering on my bro during soccer tourneys, game after game, even though the blistering winter wind is continually smacking me in the face, and all i really want to do is go back in the nice warm rental car with the tush toasters and the satellite radio.
like rushing to get to the airport at 4 in the morning, and whoever is out the door last is a rotten egg and is making life harder for everyone, until we reach the airport gate and learn our flight has been moved to a later time. then we all sit spaced out by at least one seat on the same row of chairs, crankily pouting and mad at life. no longer solely mad at each other, but joining hands and uniting in anger at delta airlines. family. oh yeah.
- my home: it always takes being away from home for at least a few days for me to realize, not only how much i love salt lake, but how much i love living there. i mean, vegas can be fun for a couple hours as long as you're shopping. but it's moments like these when i'm just ready to be home. moments when i think about my puppies and hope they're doing okay in the cold. when i think about my friends back home and can't wait to see them. even after only 4 days. so yes, even i, the girl who's least favorite season is winter and cannot stand the snow, am excited to return to the city coated in a thick, white blanket. salt lake, i'm comin.
- my faith: being away at college can certainly take a toll on your relationship with Christ. i walked onto campus hoping my faith would withstand the forces of temptation, and stay invincible forever. however, it has proven to be more difficult as i find myself making less and less time for Him every day. over this weekend, away from everyday distractions, i focused a bit more on, once again, making Christ a part of my daily life. i'm nowhere near where i should be, or where i once was, but i'm working on it. i am so grateful that despite distractions and temptations, i found that i haven't let go of my faith nearly as much as i thought i had. that is truly something to be thankful for.
- my education: i have the opportunity to attend an amazing college, and work towards a degree that will assist me in becoming whoever, and whatever i choose (even if i don't know what that is yet). i am able to be taught by great professors and have as much assistance available to me as needed. i am so thankful to be financially supported by my parents, and know that they will continue to support me throughout my life. i am proud to say that i am pushed to do my best in all i come face to face with, and that i feel i have been pretty successful thus far in my college career.
so thanks. that's all i have to say. thanks.

deds:
to the broskie: happy bday <3

rock me mama like a wagon wheel.

this paper isn't going to get written. 

college is honestly wearing me out these days. it's time for a break.

a much needed break. 

THANKSgiving. thank you for the break. that is why i am giving thanks this year.

i'm ready to escape to vegas for 4 days this thursday.

how i do enjoy the old vegas. 

it was a weary day today.

it's snowy.

i hope there's no snow in vegas.

it's alright from indoors i suppose.

i suppose the white blanket can be appealing when i'm not trampling all over it.

apparently i'm just confused.

i've turned my room into a sauna so the chill from outside won't creep through my window.

walk into my room and you'll pass through a wall of heat.

my roommates think i'm crazy:)

so instead of writing my paper tonight, 

i've succeeded in repainting both my finger & toenails, made a bowl of mashed potatoes (and a turkey sandwich to compliment it), sipped on hot cocoa, and vented to kenz about stupid shit.

this paper isn't going to get written.

oh. did i mention i'm cursed?

i am. totally. i totally am.

ask me how much of this 7-9 pg paper i've written.

actually, don't ask.

because it's too much of an embarrassment and i don't want to talk about it, okay?

mel and i uploaded more youtube vids.

one of them has become semi-famous i suppose you could say at a whopping

293 views!!! (and counting.)

we super love our biggest fans.

especially the ones who tell us to dance in somethin a little tighter,

like panties. or bikinis.

thanks for your creeper messages. 

don't worry, we definitely User Blocked you suckers.

next big thing. i'm tellin ya.

we're gonna be on ellen. and dr. phil.

maybe we'll make t-shirts. any requests?

well-

this paper isn't going to get written.

sooo..

DEAD-EE-KAY-SHUNS:

- to the pilgrims and the indians: thanks for existing so i can have a few extra days of school off.

- to the paper: go to hell.

wanna see something funny?

then watch this.

i should be doing homework.

i suppose it's time for another needed update. it's been a while since i actually provided any legitimate information regarding what i've been up to and the like. well, the answer to that is nothing. i feel like college really isn't as difficult as everyone makes it out to be. i hardly feel stressed at all. i mean, i suppose i feel a bit stressed at this moment because i skipped my last family studies class and now it's 12:53 a.m. and it turns out that i have an exam next class that i didn't know i had (don't worry mom, i printed out the study guide and am getting right on that....right after i'm done with this) and now it's biting me in the ass juuuuust a bit. anywho, the past few months have actually been moving along quite swiftly, and it has honestly been a blast. it's super hard to believe the semester is almost over. so here's a bit of an overview of the past few months. i love october. for reals. i love that during october fall is juuuuust starting to happen so it's not unbearably hot, but also not out-of-control freezing like i hate. i hiked timpanogos with my fambam and the youth group:) turns out i'm wayyy more out of shape than i thought. i still continually spend nearly every waking moment at kappa sig. i lovelovelove those boys and feel so incredibly blessed to be able to spend time with all of them<333 for halloween, i was mistaken multiple times as a "beer maiden," but no. i was candy corn. and how i just adore halloween. henry and i went trick-or-treating (he was the only one willing to go with me..) and you know what? we were criticized and ridiculed time and time again. supposedly, we were embarrassing and disgraceful, and there was no way we would have any luck hunting for candy on a sunday. needless to say, they were quite apologetic when i returned nearly an hour later equipped with a massive bag full of chocolatey goods:)) except then they attacked me which was so. not. cool. speaking of chocolate, a couple friends and i visited Hatch Family Chocolates, and if you don't know what that is, then you don't watch enough t.v., and shame on you. it recently started to get really cold, and has been snowing a bit. i think maybe this winter i'll try to enjoy the snow a bit. maybe get out and ski or something. however, it's not likely. i went grocery shopping a couple days ago, and just guess who is already almost out of chips and guacamole? this girl. i'm in search of a job, except not really. i set up my classes for spring semester and i'm very excited to be taking yoooga:) i love having required exercise already planned for me. it's really just so handy. lately, i've been listening to a lot of country music, and have a new favorite song of the day: If I Die Young by The Band Perry. you should be currently, or have just listened to it. and also, i'm not really concerned about stupid things at the moment. i kind of like it that way:) i cleaned my room thoroughly, i think it was sunday night. it's dirty again. it's tuesday. my newest favorite nail polish is Foiled Rotten by N.Y.C. and it's not even mine. i stole it from kenz...sorry.. z and i got a rat:) her name is Lola and she is the cutest little thing. unfortunately, Lola the rat hates me. i visited some of my good friends up at USU in logan over the weekend, and had a total blastyblast:) i purchased about a million bags of on-sale halloween candy, which actually turned out not to be on sale, and am currently munching on a fun-size kit kat:) kenz and i have retrieved nearly the entire building of 814's name tags, but still are working on obtaining the rest from our hall. if you were to look into our room from the parking lot, you would first notice the multi-colored christmas lights framing our 2nd floor window, and then would soon after catch a glimpse of the many different paper name cards placed creatively all over the back of our door. the cutest:) however, it would appear that kenz and i aren't the only pranksters of building 814. coming home one day and finding a rotten and squished pumpkin outside of our front door was most likely my least favorite thing in a long time. it was also really cool when i tried to move it and the pumpkin moldiness fell into itself and squished into our floor. don't worry, the pumpkin was eventually removed. however, each time i reach the top of the stairwell, and fling open the door, the stench of rotting pumpkin still lingers in the goop stained carpet. i mentioned in a previous blog that the shithead above me liked to blast his music a bit too loud. it was, at the time, just a bit disconcerting. here's the cool part. it's worse now. if i didn't know any better, i would very likely assume that living above me are four 500 lb. men who get their kicks out of pacing the floors, tipping over filing cabinets, and cranking their underground, techno rap to the absolute highest decibel. pounding on the ceiling has worked in the past, but they've gotten clever and now only pound back. it is much more often that i find myself reaching for my earplugs and ibuprofen. assholes. last night, kenz, melody, and i watched nick and norah's infinite playlist while sipping on hot cocoa (even though mine wasn't equipped with the baby marshmallows..bummer..) and it was just soooooooo delightful, i tell ya:) i've been visiting home quite a bit more often. sometimes i just super miss the fam and the pupps. it is just the worst. well, it's definitely 1:16 a.m. and i certainly have some studying to get in. so i guess this is it. au revoir.
Dedications:
- to mom & dad & bro & pupps: i love you:)
- to the Danish boys: don't go.

i hate fudge.

What is your favorite Kool-Aid flavor? the blue kind. 

Do you have a wireless keyboard and mouse? like a laptop? uhh yeahh. 

Last sporting event you watched on tv or in person? my bro's soccer game against La Roca. booooooooo.

Who makes the best fudge? honestly, after an incident in New Orleans, i hate fudge. 

Do you like it when toothpaste bubbles in your mouth? like gets all foamy? yes. in fact, i would like to try out that new toothpaste i saw on tv the other day, i think it's Crest, but supposedly it gets super foamy and gets allllll the plaque around your gums and stuff. 

Do you believe that the world is gonna end at 2012? i believe that if God wills it, then yes. if not, then no. 

How many songs are on your iPod or MP3 Player? i lost my ipod:(

Have you ever made your own survey? i don't think so..

Can you swear inside your house? uh yeah. as long as it's not excessive and crazy..i think..

Do you save Bed Bath and Beyond coupons? no..

Have you ever had a pet goldfish? yes.

When did you last eat waffles? long time ago. shame. 

What is the most overrated thing in your opinion? i don't even know. i don't think i necessarily think of anything as being overrated. 

Do you have a video Skype account? sure do:) marissalynne1. skype me. 

What color is your bed comforter? white with pixelated, black butterflies on it:)

Does being in love make you gain weight? i don't remember. 

Dumbest person you know? and why? myself. i make the same mistakes over and over and expect different results each time. 

Do your parents have home videos of you as a kid? sure do:)

How old is your oldest cousin? ohhh. i don't know how old she is. 

If you HAD to get a tattoo, where and what would it be? if i had to get a tattoo it would be the one i already have that says Faith and is on my left shoulder blade. 

Do you think Obama has tried drugs? what the?

What color is your bra or boxers? highlighter yellow. 

What is your favorite radio station? KLOVE or AirOne. 

What ethnicity was your last ex? caucasian..

What brand is your refrigerator? a small black on that works. 

How many people do you know that are pregnant? currently? 0. 

Do you have a picture with your middle finger up? don't think so. 

When is the last time you went to a birthday party? about 2 or so weeks ago. 

What is the best thing to happen to you this year so far? there have been too many things to name one. 

How long have you lived in the house you live in? a little over a year. 

Do you read a newspaper daily? never read the newspaper. 

Anything your really afraid of? spiders, chainsaws and needles. 

Do you read tabloids? not usually. 

Have you ever had a really bad haircut? not really bad, just really short. 

Do you like your peanut butter crunchy or creamy? creeeamy.

What is the scariest movie you've ever seen? i'm not sure. i've seen a lot of scary movies and i love them. i thought the second Paranormal Activity was pretty terrifying in theaters. i loved it. 

Have you ever ridden a skateboard? attempted and failed. 

Do you drink enough water on a daily basis? i do noooot. 

Would you burn the American flag for a million dollars? no. 

The main thing you cant leave your house without? chapstick. 

Do you think the economy is improving yet? maybe?

When was the last time you read a book? a long time ago.

Where did you get that shirt you're wearing? i...don't know..

Do you play pranks on April Fools Day? my birthday is on april fool's day, sooooo yeah:)

tagged.

court. i adore you. sorry if these answers are just not good enough.
1. what is your absolute favorite line from a movie? there are so many. and as classy as it is, the majority of my favorite quotes lie within the ever so cleverly crafted script of the The Hangover. that movie could honestly be considered my favorite quote.
2. what is your favorite halloween tradition? once again. there are so so many. halloween is without a doubt in my top 3 favorite holidays. i absolutely love it, so i soak it all up. favorite traditions in no particular order.
a. trying on tons and tons and tons of extravagant halloween costumes until i find the one i can't leave without.
b. trick-or-treating. a no brainer. who doesn't love running around in the chilly october air, begging for goods on neighbors' doorsteps?
c. trading trick-or-treating candy. if i'm not up to my chest in delicious Reese's peanut butter cups there will be hell to pay. (fitting for this devilish holiday, i know.)
d. carving pumpkins. classic.
3. what is your favorite seasonal clothing to wear and why? let me just tell you.
winter: nice looking jackets. why? i honestly couldn't tell you. maybe it's because when you wear something nice looking you feel sort of good about yourself...?
spring: spring is when i break out the flip-flops or begin walking barefoot. pretty much one of the most freeing feelings ever after having your feet bundled up day in and day out due to gross snow that sticks around for wayyyy too long.
summer: shorts. i love shorts. why? because i hate jeans. so uncomfortable. i take advantage of shorts weather, and continue wearing them well into the coming seasons.
fall: sweats. who doesn't love sweats.
4. what is your favorite part about weddings? i hate myself for the fact that i have never been to a wedding. but if i had been, i would love watching the bride and groom together. completely and 100% in awe of each other.
5. at what point in your day do you find yourself the most exhausted? at times like these, when i've just spent the day treading a close to 4 mile hike. that usually wears me out a little.
6. in all seriousness, what could you just honestly not live without? in all seriousness? this is hard. disregarding food, water, and shelter..and considering that "what" is not "who", as terrible as it is, i would find it pretty difficult to live without my laptop. i'm not saying i COULD NOT survive without it, because after contemplating this question for about 5 minutes, there are not many objects i really couldn't live without. however, my computer holds quite a few things that i find incredibly useful on a day to day basis (fbook not being one of them.....jk) and it would be, without a doubt, not as fun to not have it around for my convenience. judge me as you will.
7. if you could be anyone in the world, this century or before, who would you choose to be? i'm not going to even try to bullshit this one. i honestly don't know enough about history to be able to even remotely answer this question.
8. what is your favorite way to unwind from a completely ridiculous day full of chaos? HOT SHOWER. and fbook. and blog. maybe a good cry, and cuddle with my pupps:)

DEAL.

all better.

honesty is a virtue and life isn't so bad:)

i realize this post is lame.

sometimes in life, you have to accept things the way they are. whether you want to or not. it's really not up to you. or me in this case. it's starting to catch up with me. acceptance is beginning to occur again. realization is beginning to occur again. yeah this is not the most fun part of my day. i hate realization. also realizing that i have been very negative lately. i need to knock that off i think. i've had just about enough of that.
dedications?
this dedication goes to Jesus Christ- thanks for listening to my million prayers a billion thousand times a day. i know i'm a whiny bitch, so thanks for sticking it out with me. love you long time.

least favorite thing.

least favorite thing= situations. i hate situations. why? because it's a situation, and i never seem to be able to figure those out. i am in such a rut. such confusion. it's honestly a bit ridic to say the least. i shouldn't be this hot and bothered. i really shouldn't. but guess what. i am. guess why? i'm in a situation. what are you supposed to do when you can't make up your mind, or they can't make up theirs, or maybe they/you already did but you don't even know it? do you wait it out? because that's what i do. my non-action is usually the only solution i can come up with to situations. i sit back and ride it out. usually i do that. i just don't know if i can keep doing that. this situation has really got me annoyed. maybe i don't want to sit back. maybe i want answers. now. ay ay ay. not easy. not fun. i just need to get that off my chest. i just need to blog about a situation that i can't figure out.
to the person i am blogging about- you really don't even deserve to be mentioned in my blog.

new week.

rough night. things will be better though. oh, and i changed my mind. guys are assholes, yes. the majority of guys are giant, nasty, awful chodes. true statement. however, not all guys fit into this category. strange, i know. but it's true. but things will be better now.

i think William Shakespeare said it best:
"Honesty is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself."

deal. thank you Willy for summing up the majority of my evening. it's okay though.
- dear nice boy: thanks.

an update.

i must say, i deeply apologize for my lack of attentiveness in the blog department. you know college, it will grab hold of you with its claws of craziness and swing you around in circles until you feel like you're going to hurl. and when it finally sets you back down after about two or three weeks of straight nausea and adjusting to the dizziness, it can take you a moment or two to find some natural balance in your life again. however, i can proudly say that i've successfully found it (for the most part). of course, i still have issues i need to adjust. for example, i still can't get into the habit of studying. mom/dad, if you're reading this, rest assured that your college investments aren't going to waste. i'm doing a good job of working things out, and finding the time to get in everything that needs to be done. i have a feeling my marks won't disappoint (or that's what i hope..) but thanks for believing me when i tell you i have everything under control..even though i usually don't..and always being there to help me with anything at anytime. you guys are truly the bees knees. a few other updates. over the past few weeks i have traded and given away (or had snatched off my wrist) many of my colorful silly bands. the man who i stalked and placed pictures all over the internet of found me on facebook (do not ask me how, i was too afraid to ask him myself) which was most likely the most embarrassing moment of my life. i participated in a charity walk for NAMI (an organization which promotes research of mental illness and providing excellent rehab services), and have made a mess of my room over and over and over. my milk went sour once again, and i have painted my nails about 20 total times (and am currently not wearing any, due to the fact that i peeled it off in writing today. bad habit.) i spend the majority of my time over at the Kappa Sigma fraternity, and those boys are too incredible. have to give a little shout out to them. i love you all dearly. i eat a cheddar pull-apart from the pie about every two weeks, and that sugary ranch dressing adds quite the kick. oh, and my roomies and i are basically in love with each other:) it honestly couldn't be a better situation. i'm currently listening to john mayer, and living at ease, although i have a family studies midterm tomorrow morning which i may or may not be prepared for. all in all, college is truly amazing. it definitely throws a curveball at me every now and again (neighbors above me, whoever you are...i would prefer it if i didn't have to listen to your music with you. it's not that i don't like underground hip hop, i just can't hear myself think, that's all. turn it off, or at least a few notches lower. srsly.) love you college. see you tomorrow<3:)
shout outs:
- to my bf paula: i love our open relationship and miss you way more than anyone should. last weekend was mediocre. next time i see you, we're gonna bake...and i mean that.
- to my kappa sigma boys: i realize i already mentioned you previously, but i basically live at your house, and you don't make me pay for rent or any of your resources. i just love hangin with you guys. for realzies. thanks for always making me feel welcome and right at home. you guys are the tits:)
- to my professors: i'm sorry for peeling my nail polish off and leaving it under your desks..i realize it creates a mess. i promise, it's a habit i'm trying to break. (oh, and professor kaufman, sorry my paper sucks. alright, that's all.)
- to bre: thanks for friday visits:) college is better than i could have ever imagined, and i'm so glad to have you right here, next door to me at our good friend Westminny. love you chummet<3
- to mom and dad: you're my mom and dad. so of course you get a dedication. duh. love you guys:) tell marshall and the pupps i say hey. i miss them so much.

til we meet again fellow bloggers. ciao.

1 + 2= 12. yes. check.

college has proven to be many things so far. informative, confusing, terrifying, testing, awesome, lonely..just to name a few. my first week on my own was chalk full of ups & downs. for example, losing my Ucard and key to my room on the second day of classes was truly excellent. really. loved it. thank you housing office for making it apparent that i am an idiot. i realize this. however, thank you also for helping me fill out a meal verification card so i don't starve, giving me a temporary key and Ucard, and ordering a change of locks on every door in my dorm for the price of 60 big ones. you all are too fun, and i will be sure to never make that mistake again. on the other hand, i have also come across many great things this past week. i've run into old friends, made some amazing new friends, grocery shopped on my own, and learned some valuable lessons. already. it's been great. difficult, stressful, and weird, but nonetheless, great. i am definitely excited for the year to come. now for a few dedications.
to skype: thank you for keeping me in touch with my friends. i would perish without you.
to mom & dad: thank you for bringing up the puppies today and supplying me with everything i could ever need for the year ahead. oh and thanks for loving me. duh.
to all the food i bought this week: thank you for nurturing my body with your salty and sugary goodness. i am looking forward to all the extra pounds you have in store for me.
to the scented bamboo sitting on my shelf: every time i walk in my room and take in your citrusy goodness i just die.
to my incredibly big and ugly backpack: although i dislike you extremely so, i must admit you have done a great job of safely hauling my massive laptop and heavy books from class to class. however, try to be easier on the shoulders, or you will be seeing less and less of college campus.
to my amazing roomies: i love you all to death. even though your drunken friends are somewhat out of control, they still entertain me, and i love listening to your stories about their everyday nonsense. you all make me laugh hard, and i love it when you sit in my room with me and snack on my goodies:)
to all boys: grow up and turn into men. some things never change.
to the university shuttles: thank you for shipping me from place to place on a regular basis. my body would not survive without you.
to the college campus: good times are in store for us. i just know it.

acceptance.

the tears snuck up on me tonight. packing has begun.

currently: indifferent.

life is happening. and i don't have anything in boxes. i begin to move in one day. don't ask me why i have nothing packed. i couldn't tell ya. however, i do believe i could tell ya that one of the reasons i haven't boxed anything up yet it because somehow, i have myself convinced that if i don't do it, it's not happening. if i don't pack, i'm not leaving. sure, i'm stoked to begin a new chapter in my life up at the university. but do i have to do it away from my family? and my friends? and my dogs? because i'm the favorite, and my puppies need me. it's only 20 minutes away. but that's just not good enough. as for some of my closest friends? they're sailing a bit further. at least 2 hours further. i can't help but feel like a heartless bitch due to the fact that i haven't cried yet. i just don't think the reality has quite hit me. maybe that's why i haven't started packing. everyone around me is cramming in as many lunch dates and play times as humanly possible, and i sit with an open schedule. people are teary over goodbyes and good lucks, and at the end of each day, i never say goodbye. i never say good luck. not yet anyway. why should i? it's not happening. right? don't get me wrong, i would like to be slapped in the face by the cold, but oddly welcoming hand of 'here and now'. but it's just not happening for me. i'm not crying. i'm not packing. i suppose soon enough i'll have to start. the burning question lingers. will reality finally be accepted? stay tuned to find out.

you would take pictures too.

so here's the thing. a few weeks ago, my family and i were having a shed built in our backyard. not a big deal. however, i come home from a sleepover and i find THIS in my backyard. CLEARLY A BIG DEAL. here's my outlook on the whole phenomenon. as a photographer, it's my duty to capture the beautiful things in life. things i am passionate for. things i love to look at. things i know others will love to look at. such as other girls or gay men. I HAD TO PHOTOGRAPH HIM. how could i not? seriously. how could i not. answer that question. YOU CAN'T. this doesn't happen in real life!! this never happens! you never come home and find a so magnificently sculpted bronze god in your backyard shirtless and carrying power tools. it just doesn't happen. this is the kind of thing that happens in movies only. the kind of thing that makes you stare at the TV screen and think to yourself, "this is so not fair." no. it happened. he was there. merely 20 feet away from me. and so i took it upon myself to fulfill the duty of photographer. and you know what? i'm not ashamed! sure, it's a mildly creepy thing to do. but hey. just look at the paparazzi! they get paid to do creepy things like this! anyway, feel free to gander, enjoy, and experience the world of what we all thought was impossible. because if you were given this opportunity, and you had an expensive camera with a super zoom lens, you would take pictures too.

74 and counting. a list of things i love.

alright. so after being nagged by one of my closest friends (court), i will now also become intoxicated by happy. overjoyed by a few things i love to love. here's a small list of a few of the many things that intoxicate me with happiness:) 

(in no particular order)

1. wearing absolutely no makeup.

2. my old, nasty mickey mouse sweatshirt that i got at the D.I. for 2 buckaroons.

3. putting my hair in a crazy ugly bun and not caring.

4. rapping all the words to my favorite eminem songs.

5. hanging out with my mom.

6. long talks with my mom.

7. the PINK collection from victoria's secret.

8. coming up with creative ideas for photo shoots and capturing them.

9. causing people joy even though the cause of joy may be my own pain (e.g. wisdom teeth, falling over wheelchair ramps).

10. my new laptop.

11. thinking about what the future holds for me.

12. Christ.

13. nail polish.

14. clearance items.

15. indian/hispanic inspired clothing.

16. my tattoo.

17. chapstick.

18. working at a nacho joint where my boss is my friend, and someone i always share many great conversations with.

19. all animals in general. (spiders are not animals.)

20. the way my teeth feel after brushing and flossing.

21. the way hot, hot water feels on my skin during a shower after showering in cold community showers for a week.

22. my queen sized bed.

23. participating in charity efforts.

24. singing.

25. cafe rio's pork salads.

26. spending time with my oldest best friends.

27. spending time with my newest best friends.

28. when my brother and i sincerely enjoy each other's company.

29. dreaming of my wedding day while watching "Say Yes to the Dress".

30. dancing like a fool in public and not caring one bit about it.

31. being a bit out there.

32. saying what's on my mind and meaning every word of it.

33. standing up for what i believe in regardless of what anyone decides of it.

34. knowing what i stand for.

35. walking throughout my house, my back yard, or out to my car in nothing but my bra and panties.

36. being slightly provocative in public when i feel like it.

37. knowing that no matter what others think of me, i will never fail to be myself.

38. when my dad and i share our love of babies and non-annoying toddlers while (unintensionally creepily) staring and goo-goo-ga-ga-ing over other people's children in public.

39. reminiscing on old memories.

40. when my sweet puppies lay next to me and cuddle with me when i cry.

41. when my sweet puppies lay next to me and cuddle with me when the thunder scares the shit out of them.

42. giving makeovers.

43. drawing fake tattoos.

44. writing in cursive.

45. working out in spandex with paul.

46. walking along the waikiki strip.

47. going to frogurt and filling my cup up so much that it nearly overflows with toppings and deliciousness.

48. driving through the canyons by myself with the windows and sunroof down, while john mayer plays softly in the air.

49. laying in the sun.

50. swimsuit shopping.

51. waking up at a decent hour and feeling absolutely alive and refreshed.

52. holding hands.

53. wearing clothes that don't fit me.

54. my freckles.

55. driving through pouring rain, crackling thunder, and lighting in the middle of nowhere.

56. compliments.

57. spending time with certain people, doing and saying nothing, but still being perfectly content in the other's prescence .

58. amazing conversations.

59. letting go of grudges.

60. adorable panties.

61. wearing no panties.

62. movies that make me cry and cry because i can feel the reality in them.

63. putting my possible future childrens' names in my phone under a list of "baby names:)".

64. how safe and content i feel while lying in bed after a long and satisfying day.

65. knowing that i'm smarter than i often give myself credit for.

66. reading and hearing meaningful poetry.

67. all the material i managed to soak in during my senior year of english.

68. the fact that i am a soft-hearted and emotional girl who continually gives compassion and love to those around her, and even though it isn't always returned, it means no less to the ones who aren't ready to accept it.

69. how excited i am to see the movie "Eat. Pray. Love."

70. that many of my friends trust me enough to come to me when in need of a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a voice of advice, or arms to be wrapped in.

71. raw and honest relationships.

72. that my mom brought me lortab at 4:30 in the morning last night (due to my wisdom teeth pain), and layed with me in bed until i was able to fall asleep.

73. my incredible sony dslr camera. i love you.

74. exotically flavored yogurt.

i may add to this list later if anything else occurs to me.

a list of a few things that i love to love.

what a lovely little list.

oh, hey future.

i'm beginning to realize that everything is changing. like...seriously changing. i move out in less than 20 days, and some of my best friends are moving 2 hours away from me. i still don't think it's actually hit me. i haven't even gotten anything for my dorm yet, let alone picked a theme. everything's changing. i'm not usually the type of person who is accustomed to change. i mean, i already moved last september...i have to do this again? what a hassle. and it's weird. i'm going to have to get my act together and learn how to seriously study, study, study. i guess i am excited, yes. but i can't help but be a bit afraid of the change. things are going to change, whether i want them to or not. things will be uncomfortable. i am excited, yes. but still afraid. it's a new chapter. i hope i'm ready. i know my path has been set before me, but i'm realizing that i'm about to step up to the big leagues and seriously commit to it. looking forward to uncertain, but bright days ahead:)

i'll always have you, just like a tattoo.

thanks jordin sparks.
i don't even know where to begin with this post. i don't even know why i haven't said anything about it yet. some people find it hard to talk about their faith in fear of being challenged or mocked by others. but i just want to talk about my relationship with Christ. He's so amazing to me. so so amazing. i feel like sometimes i forget how much He means to me. i think sometimes i forget what it means when i hear that He died for my sins, so that i could be given the gift of grace and return home to heaven. i went on a mission trip recently. i just got back yesterday, and for a week, 200 people met and performed service in Christ's name. it's an incredible feeling. about a week earlier, i made a decision to get a tattoo that reads "Faith". i don't even know how to blog about this. it's not something i can just write down. i want to shout and sing and cry with joy because of Him. i can't sit in a chair and try to type sentences and collaborate with previous sentences without getting caught up and wanting to say something else about Him. I just want everyone who reads this to know how important He is to me. He needs to be spoken about. I love my God. talk to me about Him.

road trips and roadkill.

SummerSummerSummer:) it's happening. i'm in love with it. so far, summer has been quite enjoyable, as it should be due to the fact that it's summer. this summer i hadn't done too much until my dear friend bre and i decided to take a bit of a road trip to the lovely st. george:) some may not enjoy st. george as much as others, but it is quite the place to be when you don't want to deal with people..it's especially great when there is nobody on the third floor of your condo except yourself and your dear chummet:) anyhow, we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly while lounging by the pool, or snacking on cheap (but so delicious) potato/macaroni salad. that's how chum and i roll. simply i suppose. then one day we said to ourselves "hey..we've already driven this far...let's day trip it to vegas:)" and so we did. it was bloody hot, but we sure did have a lovely time. i used to hate vegas as a child. welp. not anymore. i almost live for shopping on the strip. however, aside from shopping, i also obtained many life skills. for instance, never be tricked into taking a survey for $35 dollars (it's not worth the time or effort it takes to get to that damn room). when someone asks you if you're gonna "hit the clubs", tell them you're 14. they'll back off. also, never pick a sweaty wedgie in front of drunken men.. get your hands off of me. people on the strip only let you take pictures with their parrots if you pay for it, and you can get a bottled water from random people for a buck. so after an eventful, and successful 5 hours in the city of Lost Wages (Bahahahahah learned that one from my 6th grade teacher), we were ready to head back to st. george. which leads me to my next topic. while traveling state to state, you see a lot of roadkill. and can i just say that i absolutely detest roadkill? it is most likely near the verrrrry top on my list of least favorite things. i was telling my dear companion of this as we continually passed poor, limp animal carcasses, and she laughed and said i should blog about it..so i am..even though she laughed about it.. because you know whaaaat? i'm an animal lover. i almost love baby animals more than baby humans. in fact, i just might. call me what you will..but hey, i just feel that poor little innocent rabbits and quails, and chipmunks, and other sweet and helpless creations should just not be pummeled by massive machines on wheels traveling at 85 miles an hour! come onnnn.. nobody stands a chance against that! let alone the little furry fellas just tryin to follow their mama's back to safety..and then bam!! dead. i just hate it. i just do i say. i say we should all do our part to lessen the amount of roadkill! that's all i ask. until i get the chance to travel to africa to save the world, that's all i've got. k seeyaa.

oops.

deleted all my previous blogs..shit.